Wednesday, August 13, 2014

The Loss of a Child

Today started like any other day. Got up, took a shower, got my Dunkin Donuts, got to work, sipped my coffee, read my emails... And then in an instant it all changed. I saw the words in front of me, but I couldn't seem to wrap my mind around them being true. A close coworker of mine's 3 month old son had passed away unexpectedly. 3. Months. Old. I sat at my desk, mouth wide open, completely stunned. 12 hours later, I am still stunned. 

This sweet angel was one of twin boys, born with a heart condition. He came home after a stay in the NICU, and from all accounts was getting stronger.  I chatted with their daddy about his wife breastfeeding, and even about how his boys baptisms were the same day as our Sabrina's. 

And in the blink of an eye, for them and everyone connected to them, it changed. Forever. This beautiful little soul went to be with the angels, leaving behind his parents and his twin brother, who will never get to know his other half, at least in this lifetime. 

I am completely devastated. Our pregnancies overlapped, and I shared my new mommy horror stories with their daddy when I got back from maternity leave. Daddy beamed with excitement. And now, in a matter of a few months, one of their beautiful sons is gone. 

How will they go on?  I know they will, for each other and for their other beautiful son.  But a piece of them is gone now, and as a parent I can't even fathom it. The death of a child is always devastating, but this is the first time something like this has happened since I became a mommy. It has hit me hard. I can't help but put myself in their shoes, on just a superficial level, and I cannot imagine my life without my Sabrina. It's too much to bear to even think about it for one second. Yet I know that this is their new reality, a parents nightmare. 

I ask for prayers for this family. For the parents, to allow themselves to mourn their son in heaven while still carrying on for their son on earth. For their earthly baby, who will miss the brother he never knew for the rest of his life. For their angel baby, to be their guardian angel always. Also pray for all families who have lost a child. For strength, for comfort, for peace. 

I will continue to blog about the minutia of my life as a working mommy. I will complain about not getting enough sleep, about not having the time to read a book or catch up on my queued up episodes of NCIS. I will be sarcastic and silly and attempt to be funny with my narrative on life. But today, none of that matters. Not one thing. Because I know that somewhere tonight a mother is mourning her son, and would gladly take sleepless nights and cranky babies if it meant having her baby back. So I will hug Sabrina a little tighter and will save my complaints for another day.  And I will thank God for the gift that he has given us. 

Sleep with the angels, little one. ❤️

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